🕴️ 36. Would I Ever Partake in Another Film? 🕴️

 

        Thanks to our new film opener, I finally got the opportunity to explore a career path that might've interested me when I was younger, but I now know it's definitely not the right one for me! I think I already said this before, but I've never been interested in going into the spotlight, in fact, I prefer to stay far far far away from it. I don't really post any photos on Instagram or Snapchat or TikTok, I honestly just prefer to live my life away from the camera and plaster everything online, I'd much rather have the memories just for myself and for my closest ones. I get pretty bad stage fright and my face turns as bright as a tomato... and now I'm getting flashbacks to my horrible stage performance in 8th grade...

        Honestly, I feel like the only times I would ever partake in an acting role is under these circumstances: it's a small film, not many people will see it, it aligns with something I can relate to, or I personally know someone in the cast. Obviously for this project I was automatically assigned the role as the actress since Rebecca has far more knowledge with editing and filming compared to my basic level skills. Honestly, sometimes I feel self-conscious when I'm on camera. There are some days where I feel quite pretty, others where I feel "meh", and other days where I feel like a train ran me over. Either way, I know I shouldn't feel too insecure because at the end of the day nobody really cares what you look like and that you can't let things get to your head. While I secretly did feel uncomfortable with my appearance on some days that we filmed (aka I felt kinda ugly), I stopped caring after a while and simply focused on the work itself. 

        Plus, with the long hours that filming takes, I certainly wouldn't enjoy being an actress. I dread the feeling of overworking myself and the idea of having to be on set for long hours and attempting to perfect every single shot slightly discourages me (luckily we didn't experience too much of that during our film opening). Like I mentioned before in a previous blog post, there are many other actresses that would do a wayyyyy better job than me. However, if Rebecca ever needed me to participate in one of her future films, I would certainly do it for her, especially since I feel as though it's so much easier for us to plan something together and we understood each other pretty well throughout the film opener.